How to deal

I just finished seeing the film "How to Deal" and I just knew I should not. I feel now depressed just as I knew I would. I guess sometimes we are just idiots who do things even knowing that we should not do them. The film had a bit of everything that I feel strongly about, a father who leaves his wife and children because he hooks up with another woman who is much younger than him. Of course, in this film the father actually loves his daughters even if he has been a pig to the mother. He actually keeps seeing the daughters and is there for all their important moments. I guess you can imagine that I thought I would have liked to at least get that. And I would to be young again like the girl in the film, and to really feel love again. I feel like I will never ever be able to feel like that again, like I felt for him. Everything that I feel after just feels tainted somehow, not real, like I am forcing myself to feel that way. I thought I felt like that again, but it passed away and now I feel trapped in a cage that I constructed myself with my own hands. I wish I knew how to open the bars.