Anger in general

Sometimes I feel so angry. At what? I dont know really, angry at all, angry in general, angry with life, angry with everyone that surrounds me. Angry because I can't control my own life. Angry because people don't treat me as I would like to be treated and how I try to treat people. Is it so difficult to just be nice, to not go around putting knives in people's backs? Or treat them as filth, to use them and then throw them away as a used up tissue?

Sometimes I get so angry, inside my head I imagine all sorts of things I would lile to do to people. To people that have hurt me. I wish I could hurt them back. And not only in their feelings, like physically. I imagine all sort of gory things I would like to do to them. Cut, maim, hit, dismember, disbowel, destroy completly. I do believe they deserve it. Or even more cunningly sorts of hurts, like doing awful things to their beloved ones and letting them see it all. After, I kind of feel bad for having these thoughts. I think, maybe I am not a very nice person for imagining all these things, maybe I should have my head checked.

I’ve never told anybody about this. Why? Well, I dont care much for those white suits that they bind around you. And I have never, ever actually done anything, I always repress them. Maybe this is what everyone feels, we all feel this anger inside us boiling up and trying to free itself and we just push it down inside us, trap it up in the bonds of civilization.