So maybe he is not as big a jerk as I thought he was. I don't know, I talked the other night with him because I really flared up during dinner. I know it was a stupid thing, he had AGAIN left the door of the kitchen to outside open and a fly came in, and I just hate having a fly bussing over my food! I am sorry but I cant help it, it gets me really histerical. So I kind of got up, saw that the kitchen door was open and well...ok, I admit I kind of screamed my head off. I mean really is it that damn hard to remember to close the stupid door? You woudl not believe how many times I have said that to him, again and again and again. And that just sort of got everything else flowing out later. Bit complicated conversation to tell but I kidn of told him that I am really tired of not having a boyfriend, that he never hugs me or wraps his arm anymore outside with people and things like that and specially the fact that he had nto said he loved me for ages. That went on for like a coupel of hours, and we founght, then we kissed, then he again put his foot in his mouth, I screamed a bit more, ended up making love.Yikes! Why are relationships so very complicated? It really shoudl not have to be like this. Seems he did get my point although not totally said I was completly right and it seems he is going to try and make things better. Mmm, lets see how long this holds up.
I am sorry but after my other depressing and awful relationship, I just cant be the one in the couple to put the 100% of pulling. I feel many times like a mirror, if a guy loves me and does really nice things for me I feel inclined to do the same (I mean if I like that guy, if I love him, not just anybody) but if the guy just shrugs and doesn't do anything. Why do I have to be the one to do it? I got really tired of that before. I will not go through that again, living in an one sided love relationship. If he stops loving me, and demonstrating him, I will ditch him, no matter if I still love him, because I refuse to be hurt again.
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1 comment:
Well, is he, or isn't he (we all are and aren't in our own ways, don't cha know)
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